The beauty of this great nation is we not only tolerate, we invite those like Chris Satullo to tell the rest of us what they think. That, of course, leaves us the opportunity to tear apart intellectually dishonest arguments motivated by cheap political pandering. So it is with CS.
What follows is his rather weak attempt to demean America on the occasion of her annual birthday celebration. My commentary can be seen in [BRACKETED BOLD CAPS] throughout this piece. His email is listed at the end should you feel the need to let him know your thoughts as well.
Have fun!
Chris Satullo: A not-so-glorious Fourth
U.S. atrocities are unworthy of our heritage.
By Chris Satullo
Inquirer Columnist
Put the fireworks in storage. [NOT HAPPENING]
Cancel the parade. [TOO LATE: STORY OF YOUR LIFE]
Tuck the soaring speeches in a drawer for another time. [ACTUALLY I CAN GO WITH THIS ONE]
This year, America doesn't deserve to celebrate its birthday. This Fourth of July should be a day of quiet and atonement. [ON THE CONTRARY WE SHOULD ENJOY THE FACT THAT MILLIONS IN AFGHANISTAN AND IRAQ WILL BE CELEBRATING RIGHT ALONG WITH US BECAUSE OF THE EFFORT WE HAVE MADE ON THEIR BEHALF]
For we have sinned. [ALL MEN ARE SINNERS, NOT THE LEAST OF WHICH IS YOU]
We have failed to pay attention. We've settled for lame excuses. We've spit on the memory of those who did that brave, brave thing in Philadelphia 232 years ago. [CLEARLY, EVEN THOUGHT YOU WORK IN PHILLY YOU DON'T KNOW A WHOLE LOT ABOUT WHAT ACTUALLY WENT ON AMONGST THOSE GATHERED THERE TO RISK LIFE AND FORTUNE]
The America those men founded should never torture a prisoner. [YOU MEAN THOSE SLAVE HOLDERS. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THEIR SLAVES WERE TREATED?]
The America they founded should never imprison people for years without charge or hearing. [HOW ABOUT ENSLAVE FOR A LIFETIME?]
The America they founded should never ship prisoners to foreign lands, knowing their new jailers might torture them. [HOW ABOUT SHIP FOREIGN SLAVES TO OUR SHORES, KILLING THOUSANDS IN THE PASSAGE AND DUMPING THEM OVERBOARD?]
Such abuses once were committed by the arrogant crowns of Europe, spawning rebellion. [SUCH ABUSES HAVE BEEN COMMITTED THROUGHOUT HISTORY. READ MAN'S INHUMANITY TO MAN. YOU NEED TO GET A REAL WORLD HANDLE ON HUMAN NATURE, INCLUDING WHAT MODERN DAY TERRORISTS ARE DOING TO INNOCENT NONCOMBATANTS]
Today, our nation does such things in the name of our safety. Petrified, unwilling to take the risks that love of liberty demands, we close our eyes. [FYI, WE TRIED THE CRIMINAL COURT ROUTE DURING THE CLINTON YEARS AND IT LED TO 911]
We have done such things, on orders from the Oval Office. We have done them, without general outrage or shame. [BUNK! CONGRESS WAS AS MUCH A PART OF THE PROCESS AS VIRTUALLY ANY OTHER PLAYER]
Abu Ghraib. Guantanamo. CIA secret prisons. "Rendition" of prisoners to foreign torture chambers. [NO ATTACKS ON THE HOMELAND. AQI LOSES THE FIGHT IN IRAQ. TERRORISM AROUND THE GLOBE CONTINUES TO DIMINISH. BIN LADEN AND AQI MASSIVELY DISCREDITED IN THE EYES OF MUSLIMS WORLDWIDE]
It's not enough that we had good reason to be scared. [OR THAT 3,000 INNOCENT AMERICANS WERE SLAUGHTERED WHILE AT WORK?]
The men huddled long ago in Philadelphia had better reason. A British fleet floated off the Jersey coast, full of hands eager to hang them from the nearest lampposts. [DO YOUR BEST TO REMEMBER THAT THE BRITISH WERE THE WORLD POWER WITH THE CONVENTIONAL FORCES. THE AMERICANS WERE ESSENTIALLY THE INSURGENTS]
Yet they pledged their lives and sacred honor - no idle vow - to defend the "inalienable rights" of men. Inalienable - what does that signify? It means rights that belong to each person, simply by virtue of being human. Rights that can never be taken away, no matter what evil a person might do or might intend.
Surely one of those is the right not to be tortured. Surely that is a piece of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." [AS YOU KNOW, NO ONE WAS SYSTEMATICALLY TORTURED ALA JOHN MCCAIN IN NAM. SOME INDIVIDUAL GUARDS GOT CARRIED AWAY AND HAVE BEEN PUNISHED. ALSO NOTE THAT NO WHERE IN THE DECLARATION OR THE CONSTITUTION DID THE FOUNDERS ADDRESS FOREIGN TERRORISTS. THEY SPOKE OF THEIR AMERICAN RIGHTS FOR THEMSELVES AND THEIR FELLOW COLONISTS]
This is the creed of July 4: No matter what it costs us, no matter how it scares us, no matter how foolish it seems to a cynical world, America should stand up for human rights. [WHERE CAN I FIND SUCH PAP IN THE DECLARATION? CAN'T, IT DOES NOT EXIST OTHER THAN IN YOUR IMAGINATION]
No, not even the brave men who picked up a quill, dipped it in ink and signed the parchment that summer day in Philadelphia lived up perfectly to the creed. But they did something extraordinary, founding a new nation upon a vow to oppose all the evil habits of tyranny. [BEST PARAGRAPH IN THIS PIECE]
That is why history still honors them. [HISTORY DOES BUT STRANGELY YOU DO NOT]
But what will history think of us, of how we responded to our great challenge? Sept. 11 was a hideous evil, a grievous wound. Yet, truth told, it has not summoned our better angels as often as our worst. [GEE, AND WHAT ABOUT LINCOLN DURING THE CIVIL WAR OR FDR DURING WORLD WAR II?)
We have betrayed the July 4 creed. We trample the vows we make, hand to heart. [THIS IS SIMPLY A SICK AND TWISTED CLAIM, UNSUPPORTED BY ANYTHING APPROACHING FACT OR EVIDENCE]
Don't imagine that only the torturers hand bears the guilt. The guilt reaches deep inside our Capitol, and beyond that - to us. [THE ONLY GUILT HERE IS YOURS: FOR WRITING FICTION AND CLAIMING TO REPRESENT THE FOUNDERS]
Our silence is complicit. In our name, innocents were jailed, humans tortured, our Constitution mangled. And we said so little. [PURE HYPERBOLE]
We can't claim not to have known. The best among us raised the alarm. Heroes in uniform, judges in robes, they opposed the perverse logic of an administration drenched in fear, drunk on power. [THOSE WHO RAISED THE "ALARM" WERE THE EXTREMISTS ON THE FAR LEFT AND THEIR ANARCHIST SUPPORTERS, ALL OF WHOM HAD A DEEP AND ABIDING HATRED FOR GEORGE BUSH LONG BEFORE 911. THAT HATE HAS ONLY FESTERED WITH TIME]
But did we heed them? Hardly. Barely . . . [FORTUNATELY MOST PEOPLE ARE SMARTER THAN THAT AND ARE WILLING TO LIVE WITH THE JUDGMENT OF HISTORY, NOT YOUR PABLUM. IT IS GOOD HOWEVER THAT YOU ARE ON THE RECORD FOR POSTERITY]
We were so busy. Soccer practice at 6. A credit card balance to fret. The final vote on Idol. [REALLY NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR DAILY SCHEDULE]
We left it to those in power to keep our precious selves from harm. Whatever it took. [MOST IMPORTANTLY, OUR "PRECIOUS SELVES" HAVE IN FACT NOT BEEN HARMED BECAUSE OF THE GOVERNMENTS AGGRESSIVE PURSUIT OF TERRORIST CRIMINALS]
We took the coward's way. [WELL, YOU FINALLY GOT TO THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF]
The world sees this, even if we are too dim to grasp it. We've lost respect. We've shamed the memory of Jefferson, Adams and Franklin. [YO, WE ARE CURRENTLY THE MOST POPULAR NATION ON THE PLANET, MORE SO THAN ALMOST ANY OTHER TIME IN OUR HISTORY. READ THE STUDIES AND THE POLLS FOR THE TRUTH. YOUR FICTION IS ENTIRE UNSUBSTANTIATED.]
And all for a scam. The water boarding, the snarling dogs, the theft of sleep - all the diabolical tricks haven't made us safer. They may have averted this plot or that. But they've spawned new enemies by the thousands, made the jihadist rants ring true to so many ears. [PAY ATTENTION NOW CHRIS: TERRORISM IS ON THE DECLINE AROUND THE WORLD FOR THE FIRST TIME IN DECADES]
So put out no flags. [ACTUALLY THE FLAG IS ALREADY OUT EARLY]
Sing no patriotic hymns. [OK: BUT ONLY BECAUSE I'M A LOUSY SINGER. I WILL HOWEVER LOUDLY PLAY AND CLOSELY WATCH THE NATIONAL CELEBRATION ON THE MALL AND ALL THE MUSIC ASSOCIATED THEREWITH]
We deserve no Fourth this year. [BELIEVE IT OR NOT EVEN YOU DESERVE A 4TH SINCE YOU ARE FREE TO STATE YOUR FOOLISHNESS IS THIS GREATEST NATION IN HISTORY]
Let us atone, in quiet and humility. Let us spend the day truly studying the example of our Founders. May we earn a new birth of courage before our nation's birthday next rolls around. [NICE TRY TO WAX ELOQUENT. NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAND IN THE CORNER UNTIL YOU PROMISE NOT TO MAKE THIS STUFF UP ANYMORE!]
To comment, e-mail csatullo@phillynews.com.